While watching part one of Makers: Women Who Make America, I found it quite interesting that
women were so strongly encouraged by society to marry at a young age. I suppose
that we all know at least one person who married at a very young age, however,
the fact that marrying before even graduating college was at one time a norm in
society was very shocking to me. I found these concepts to be very thought
provoking, and I began to wonder about current marriage statistics. Certainly modern
views of marriage differ from earlier ones, but how so?
Yesterday, I was reading the September 2013 edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, when I came
across an article by Irin Carmon, titled “I Do… or Do I?” It began like this:
“More
and more women are deciding their path to happily-ever-after isn’t down an
aisle. Why are so many women getting married later in life—or not at all—and are
there consequences?”
The article provides us with some striking statistics. It states that in
1970, 60% of all women age 20-24 were married, and 90% were married by the age
of 29. In 2010, however, only 20% of women were married by 24, and 50% by 29.
According to Rebecca Traister, “Marriage has never happened this late or been
this infrequent in the history of the country.” But why?
It seems to break down something like this:
- · Women no longer require marriage for security purposes.
- · Long-term planning for anything has been made difficult because of our current economic situation, and the fact that many young people are struggling with various debts. It’s simply not practical to marry while young.
- · Due to the fact that people are currently healthier (for the most part) and living longer than ever, there’s not as much emphasis placed upon marrying and having children at a younger age.
- · Women tend to earn more money if they wait until they are 30 years (or even older) to marry.
- · Both women and men now wish to “establish themselves” before they marry.
Sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin stated, “A half a century ago,
if you went to college and weren’t engaged by the time you graduated, you got
nervous.” This, of course, is reminiscent of Makers. Interestingly, he also noted that back then, “marriage was
the first step to adulthood. Now, it’s almost the last.”
The article goes on to state that marriages are less likely to end in divorce when couples wait until a later age to marry. They reap not only the financial benefits of marriage, but obvious emotional benefits as well. One of the main messages that I took away from this article is that marriages tend to be stronger and more fulfilling when both individuals know how to be independent. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, who married at age 24 and divorced one year later, said, "It's really important to be a fully formed adult when you get married." I couldn't agree more with this statement; to me, if you don't know how to be happy on your own, you'll never be able to find happiness in a long-term relationship with someone. You need to really know yourself and your personality before you can share it with another person for the rest of your life.
I, myself, am uncertain about whether or not I’ll ever want
to get married. If I do, I will certainly be waiting until I finish college at the
very least, and hopefully I will be secure in my career, as well. It’s good to
know that I am not alone in this way of thinking, and I’m also glad that I was
able to see society’s 21st century views of marriage.
I find it interesting just how much the statistics for women who marry at a young age have changed over the years. More so, it was really interesting to see that 90% of all women in 1970 were married by the age of 29! That's incredible. Now, things are quite different. Many women do want to wait to get married until they are established in their careers and in their financial investments. To me, in many cases, it seems as if getting married too young in today's society (marrying at 18, 19, 20, etc.) is often frowned upon, when in fact at one time it was the norm! It's crazy how much ideals change in a relatively short amount of time.
ReplyDeleteI found this really compelling. My mother and father actually got married before graduating college, and I always get so amazed by it. I think the idea of marriage is different for a lot of people, and as a whole it's become more about two people who know what they want and who they are as people committing to each other verse two people who are in love or passionate for each other committing to that and growing as individuals together and having a partner in that growth. I imagine marriages aren't easier today, but that they're easier in a sense that people who get married later already know what kind of values they hold paramount and can tailor their partner to reflect those instead of trying to explain why they're so important to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Kim, I find it very weird that not so long ago women our age were already picking out china patterns in between classes.
This reminds me of a story a good friend once told me about her own parents. They got together in high school, and got married during their junior year of college. She always tells a funny story about how her mom, during her senior year, woke up late for a final exam and biked 8 months pregnant through the snow to make it to class. Sure, it makes for a funny story (and her parents are very happily married) but I can't imagine being in a situation where I would have to choose between a domestic life, or my education. What's more is that some women try to do both, which is deeply admirable but I can only imagine also extremely difficult. Loved these facts about getting married later in life, really puts things into perspective!
ReplyDeleteI like that you are thinking about possibilities for yourself. I hope that you continue to think critically on them and where society places you in relationship to them. Marriage has an interesting past but rewards so many today.
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