Here I am, once again on Sunday night. Waiting until what feels like the last minute to get this blogpost in order. Until on the sudden, *BING*, there goes the light bulb. This past weekend I encountered a real life situation. (Well, all situations in life are real situations but you know what I mean.) This weekend my cousin’s “supposed” boyfriend laid hands on her for not the first, but second time. (oh yeah, things were about to get real) Then I rushed over there, sneakers in toe, ready to be the consoler and rub her back as she told her story to the police, but when arrived I was sadly mistaken. There were no police, no sirens, no urgency, and I even had to call her about five times to even get her to come outside. The night seemed too normal, for the situation that I had just taken place. When she finally arrived outside, I did a thorough inspection of her body. (you would’ve thought I was the police) No cuts or bruises were found, but neither were the police. After asking for what felt like the sixth time, she begins to list excuse after excuse why she couldn’t call the police. Excuse after excuse as to why she couldn’t leave him. By the end of the night I found a new found disgust for woman beaters as well as the importance society puts on a woman having a man. Anything that would tell a woman it’s okay to get beat for the sake of keeping a man is beyond me. I love my cousin, enough to know she has to make the decision to leave him on her own. But it is definitely eating me up inside, can you guys give me some ideas of different ways to help the situation at all? Please help.
I'm sorry to hear that you have to be a witness to this type of crazy hurtful relationship. I have never had to deal with it, but have dealt with somewhat emotionally abusive relationships and I unfortunately understand how hard it can be to get that victim on the other side of the fence. Emotions and perception of one's self-worth among other competing factors are involved and it is hard to see the light sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know how to intervene here, but I'm sure there are some helpful domestic/intimate partner violence sites out there, that could offer steps to help.
In my Gender & Society class last year, we learned about the cycle of intimate partner violence. (http://www.dayahouston.org/educational.php) this is just one example, but if you do a google search, it pops up with all different variations and explanations of the same cycle. So, it might help inspire some other way to reach out to your friend where she is at mentally. Is it possible that he threatened her into not calling the authorities?
love you girl, sorry about all this ugly shit and be strong for your friend.
I am so sorry that you are your family are going through something like this. I also have never been personally impacted by something like this, but I am so impressed that you are doing what you are doing. I think that one of the most important things is not letting your cousin feel like she is alone in this situation-you do not want her feeling hopeless. I think that you should make sure that she keeps talking to you. However, I completely agree with Claudia in that I think that there are great websites and professionals that you should talk to because i am sure that they have a lot of experience with these type of situations and would know how to help your cousin.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are your family are going through something like this. I also have never been personally impacted by something like this, but I am so impressed that you are doing what you are doing. I think that one of the most important things is not letting your cousin feel like she is alone in this situation-you do not want her feeling hopeless. I think that you should make sure that she keeps talking to you. However, I completely agree with Claudia in that I think that there are great websites and professionals that you should talk to because i am sure that they have a lot of experience with these type of situations and would know how to help your cousin.
ReplyDelete