**Disclaimer: This is pretty lengthy. Last week following our discussion in class about cosmetic surgery and body image, I sat down to write a blog post. And then I kept writing. And writing. After completing the following essay I ended up sharing what I had written with a few of my friends. It felt incredibly liberating to relate our experiences and discuss these issues so openly with one another. (In fact, it reminded me very much of the "consciousness-raising" of second-wave feminism.) Through my writing I made some major realizations about how the media portrayal of women, body image, and self-esteem have affected my own life and the lives
of those around me. Here are those realizations.
Our discussion
about plastic surgery and body image in class last week really got me thinking
about my own experiences. Although I do
not at all support the idea of cosmetic surgery for purposes that are not
medically necessary, I do understand why it is such a popular industry in
modern American society. Television,
music, radio advertisements, magazines, etc. all contribute to the promotion of
idealized and unrealistic body images. We
are persistently bombarded by such images in such a way that they are
unavoidable unless you basically live under a rock. If a woman wants to empower herself or have a
solid sense of self-esteem, the media is of absolutely no help. And as
part of a cruel and seemingly inescapable cycle, without a sense of self-worth
it is nearly impossible to disregard the countless idealized, photo-shopped fairytale
pictures we see every day. Consequently, it is difficult for girls to see that
there is much more to being a woman than exploitation of sexuality. Such circumstances contribute to an unrealistically
two-dimensional perspective of the human condition, particularly the female
condition.
Unfortunately,
conquering this stigma and creating personal self-worth is more easily said
than done. Where do we find this
self-esteem if we are virtually trained by society not to have any? Essentially
from birth we are surrounded by images of the “perfect” woman; we grow up
learning what is typically “feminine” and “masculine”, the princesses in the
Disney movies we watch and many of the dolls we play with as girls are slender
but curvy with impossibly huge eyes, lush hair and tiny waists. Likewise, boys see all of these images and
are taught to expect the same in real women.
We are shown these ideals and they are instilled within us without us
even noticing that it’s happening. I
grew up in a very gender-equal nuclear family.
My parents certainly had a positive impact on my perspective in regards
to feminism and gender equality. But
even when the most important people in my life supported equality I was not
immune to the images of the media. All American
children are exposed to the objectification of women in the media and
surrounded by sexualized images from such an early age; many of us don’t
understand the implicated misogyny in much of what we’ve been shown our whole
lives until we are college students or older; often, until after damage has
already been done.
My story isn’t an
exceptionally unique one. I remember a
time when I never worried about the inherent shape my body, when I didn’t ever feel
self-conscious and never compared my own body to my peers’ and the women in the
advertisements. In all honesty it’s hard
to recall the exact feeling because it has so long since disappeared. Something
changed.
Around fifth or
sixth grade, I don’t remember the day, the month or the reason, but my self-contentment
deflated. The pins and needles of
comparison, the urge to seek approval for the way I looked, materialized in my
life and the lives of the girls around me.
I hid my insecurities within my own mind for the most part, but
truthfully they infiltrated my life rapidly.
I found myself constantly thinking I was fat even when I was not
overweight; I began to long for a different body, as did many of the other
girls around me. I heard others make
self-deprecating comments and I followed suit. We were still children in many
ways when the phenomenon of self-loathing began. I suddenly despised many
things about myself that before I had never noticed; I was unable to shake
these insecurities and I didn’t understand why.
Suddenly, the women in the advertisements mattered. What previously had been a subliminal memorandum
became a conscious comparison. In writing
this, I am not denying that there are some societal physical standards for the
idealized male, but those parameters are not nearly as critical, specific, or
present in the media as they are for young women. In society we consider the abundance of
emotional self-doubt to be a normal part of female adolescence. It’s not.
Of course, there are hormonal changes that occur in both boys and girls
around this age, but not nearly to the extent in which these insecurities manifest. That is the fault of society.
In high school, I
learned to respect myself more due to emotional maturation and with the help of
both male and female friends who shared my passions and opinions. This being
said, the insecurities never entirely faded. In fact, for many girls these problems worsen with
age. I’m now almost 19 years old and I don’t
really know what it feels like to truly and wholeheartedly love my body. I would love to say that now that I identify
as a feminist I am entirely appreciative of my body, but this is not the
case. With every self-deprecating
remark, every sexualized music video, every airbrushed advertisement I’ve seen,
the insecurities have had such a long time to ferment that it is impossible to
not feel saddened by them at times. But
I’m working on it, I’m trying-- to discourage negative thinking in both myself
and every woman I know. As a feminist I realize
the consequences of media idealization and sincerely support healthy body image
for women. I hope that my daily actions work toward a world where girls aren’t
challenged by this impossible image of beauty; because I see the internal
struggle that all of this garbage causes- in both the women around me and
myself.
There
are obviously varying degrees of body image problems and low self-esteem; it’s
like a spectrum ranging from minor insecurities to all-out self-hatred. I’ve witnessed high school friends skip meals
to lose weight, but also the guilt-ridden binge eating of those who felt that
their “ideal” image was unattainable, that it was a hopeless cause. Both of these things are extremely
detrimental to the emotional, physical and intellectual growth of girls and
women. I’ve known girls who’ve engaged
in self-harm, and although there are many contributing factors to depression,
the pressure on women to fit an often-unachievable standard of beauty certainly
isn’t helping. But how can we end this
cycle? We are literally trained by
society that not only is beauty the most important aspect of a woman, but also
covertly ingrained with the message that this “beauty” is imminently
unattainable.
I don’t have some
sort of miracle solution to this problem, but I think we can start by reviewing
a few aspects of our own lives. We can
begin by refusing to participate in the criticism of other women’s bodies,
whether those women are movie stars, friends or strangers. We can also work to increase awareness about
mental and emotional health, and how harmful media images can be. Perhaps most importantly we can learn to
refrain from self-deprecating behavior; the most accessible way to begin
shifting our society is to love ourselves. I dream of a world where girls and
women don’t remember the “changing point” in fifth or sixth grade when they
started to hate their bodies only because of the natural changes that occur. Our bodies change over time. This shouldn’t cause us unexplainable
emotional strife. I truly believe a
society can exist in which women are taught to love their bodies and treasure
their other qualities so that there is no realization of self-hated in
adolescence or any other time in their lives.
I believe that it
is nearly unfeasible to reach one’s full potential if one does not feel confident
in his or her own skin. As women, to
break glass ceilings and bulldoze prejudice we must feel strong. We are so much more than our bodies, but they
are the vessels in which we carry our thoughts, our inspirations and our
feelings. I aspire for a world where we
are guided to love each and every part of ourselves regardless of shape or
weight, a world where the cosmetic surgery industry is all but obsolete.
(lol i found this picture hilarious for some reason....)
