Not a tool

Today one of my teachers was watching as i asked some boys to do something for me, because it was their job not because they were boys, and I said I would do it myself I just was not sure what to do. Then my teacher says its just cause you are too tiny. So naturally I said already point where it is going to go because I am doing it and i did it. No hassle, no complaints. Then my teacher goes I knew that would make her do it. I really dislike that he is using my desire to be treated equally as a tool to get me to do things. I am not a tool, I am a human being and the reason that I am doing these things is because you are treating me as less then a human being and that is what i am fighting against. Every time I do a task even if it is cause someone one is "just getting me to do it", I am doing it because I want to be asked to do the task without question. That there was never another question whether I could do something or not. So it does not matter if my teacher asks me again and again to do something with that intention because I will do it every time in a heartbeat. My fight for equality is not a tool to be used against me and it should never be treated as such.

Call me Beyonce.

As we all know social construct have has a large pull on what we all define as sexy or what’s on the rage right now. Within this article http://feministing.com/2013/01/18/we-are-totally-cool-with-beyonce-posing-in-her-underwear/ we see an original article and then rattling on of responses towards the article. Reading through the original article and then reading through the responses I tended to agree more with those women. I know it is important to be aware of your surroundings and the world that we’re in but how can we impose our believes on anyone else? And yes it does seem to make me a little of hypocrite from my Miley Cyrus blog post. But if these women or celebrities have not self proclaimed themselves as feminist so how is it that we can impose our own beliefs upon them. Once again, I might be biting myself in the ass for that Miley Cyrus post but like the writer said, we’re stuck in limbo. How are we, women supposed to win? We’re criticized for being sexy in a society that says the only thing we’re good for is being sexy. lol I’m stuck, y’all.

Dove Beauty Campaign

A friend showed me this video this weekend and I had to share!! Most of you guys have probably heard of Dove, and their natural beauty campaign, but I thought that this was a great example of what women think about their own image. Everyday, women and young girls are surrounded by these highly idealized media images if what women "should" look like. We've been trained by society to think that we aren't worth as much as women who look like Gisele Bündchen, Miranda Kerr or Tyra Banks. We are the rule, those women are the exception. It's their job to be beautiful women, it's our job just to be regular women-but who says we can't be beautiful too? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE

Also check out this one, really shows how much society can affect a younger generation
Why 6 out of 10 girls will stop doing what they love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rSY7zpINa4

A Clearly Desperate Housewife

I'm not sure how many of you watch any of the "Real Housewives" franchise but apparently one of the women on the show has created quite a controversy with the publication of her new book. I personally have no idea why any of these women are famous and the show itself could garner its own discussion, however when I saw this article I really wanted to share it. The article is from the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/28/melissa-gorga-defends-book-rape_n_4009226.html) and it discusses the huge amount of controversy surrounding this woman's novel. The woman's name is Melissa Gorga (a member of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" show) and she, along with her husband Joe, is being accused of promoting marital rape. Apparently, one particular passage from her book has warranted a large amount of negative attention and it reads as follows: "Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says 'no,' turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated." While Gorga is defending her book and claims she was only referring to playful sex, I think this raises a much more important issue. The fact that this woman is claiming that all women want to be "dominated" I think largely plays into the idea that many women who are raped are "asking for it." I think this is a pretty outrageous comment and I am glad it is getting the negative attention it deserves.

School Dance

It's almost October which means the season of high school dances is about to begin. I have younger siblings that are twins in high school, so dance madness has already begun at my house. Same age, same school, same friends...totally different experiences.
My brother; varsity soccer star, longboard wiz, varsity lacrosse player, surfer stud, and stereo-typical "bro" has his picks of girls from his graduating class of 950 students (400-something of those being girls). Him and his friends have been joking for weeks about which girls they will deem to ask. Last year for homecoming I was unfortunate enough to witness my brother and his friends flip through the year-book and point at random to the girls they would ask. They are fully aware that any girl they ask will feel lucky to just be asked to the homecoming dance and will more than likely say yes. But why? Why should girls have to just sit around and say yes to the first high school delinquent to ask them?
My sister; junior varsity lacrosse player, salesgirl at a local boutique, a bit timid and shy, but genuinely the nicest and most polite girl has been secretly fretting for weeks about whether or not she will be asked. I have witnessed time and time again her and her friends waiting and wondering if they will be going to the dance this year. Will they be lucky enough to be asked? Will they be dress shopping by the end of the week? Unfortunately for my sister and some of her friends the luck of getting asked wasn't in there favor this year - and they have no dates. Thus they are not going to the dance. This is exactly the same experiences I had in high school. If a girl didn't get asked to the dances then she obviously would not be attending that dance. Is this right? I think absolutely not.
While going to homecoming or any school dance is suppose to be a special experience - the boy asks the girl, the girl says yes, gets dolled up, and dances the night away - why should this be the only experience? Why can't the girls ask the boys? Why can't high schoolers boys and girls feel comfortable enough with themselves to go with our without dates?
Society needs to teach our youth that it is okay to be in a relationship or to be single. Being one is not better than the other. Girls need to realize that they have just as might rights as boys do. Girls should take control and ask boys to dances if they want, they shouldn't feel that is socially unacceptable. I hope when I have kids (in the far, far, far future) that they will attend high school in a time where boys can ask girls to dances AND girls can ask boys to dances.

Grandtheft Auto V

 

 

 

Yesterday, my brother purchased a video game called Grand Theft Auto Five. While watching him play the game, I realized that the game really defiled women. Not only did it make the women seen as a sexual toy, but also inferior to society. The women in the game barely have on any clothes. The only occupations in the game for women are strippers and fast food workers.  This shows how the women are viewed in society. This game really opened my eyes, simply because I could not believe my brother was playing this game. When I asked him how he felt about it. He stated that its just girls, what wrong with them just doing there job. This hurt me a little because my job is not to be a house slave nor a boy toy. By seeing this game, I believe women should begin to stand up to men and show them what they are really made of, not just their physical appearance, but their intelligence. 

FML

So I’m not sure how familiar everyone here is with a website/app called “FML,” but I’ve been using it and reading FMLs every day for years now. This is the brief description of FML (taken from www.fmylife.com):

“Fmylife.com is a collection of user-submitted stories, likely to happen to anyone, which we then publish on the site. Simple. This is a place where you can let it all hang out and unwind by sharing the little things that screw with your day, and maybe realize that you are not alone in experiencing day-to-day crap. There now, don't you feel better?”

Believe it or not, it’s actually pretty hard to get one published, so imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and saw that the one I’d submitted last night had been posted! This is it:

I’ve been struggling to come up with an idea for the blog this week, so I’m going to tell you guys a little bit of the story behind this. I guess it is kind of relevant, after all, since we’ve discussing controlling/abusive relationships and things like that before.

I started dating a guy named Austin during my junior year of high school. At first, he seemed absolutely perfect for me in every way- I was so happy with him. He lived about 30 minutes away from my town, and he didn’t have a car (his mom was crazy controlling with his money, surprise), but I didn’t mind making the drives to see him a few times a week. He was pretty clingy though, which bugged me. He constantly had to be touching me when we were together, and started telling me that he loved me, wanted to marry me, etc., really early in our relationship. I would see all of those things as huge red flags now, but at the time I was only 16, and of course thought it was all pretty flattering.

A few more months into our relationship, I was starting to lose some of my tolerance for the things that he did. He was constantly talking about getting married now, and was always paranoid about who I was texting, hanging out with when he wasn’t around, etc. Other people had noticed these things, but they just took it as him really caring about me a lot. I guess to them it may have looked that way, but I saw something else. I knew that he got extremely angry very easily, and also got violent when he was angry. In one instance, we were texting, and he had upset me. I told him that I just wanted to take the night to cool off, and asked him to please stop talking to me. I stopped replying to his messages, but he repeatedly texted me and called, leaving me tons of voicemails. He kept telling me that he loved me, didn’t want to lose me, that this fight was making him physically sick (he was throwing up, crying, etc.), trying to guilt me into talking to him. I eventually gave in. That night he actually ended up re-breaking his collar bone (he had broken it previously and it was still in the process of healing at the time), and pushing it back out through his skin, because he had punched him solid oak door in his anger with me. I’m thankful I wasn’t there that night, because I’m really not sure what would have happened to me.

I could tell you guys a million other stories like this one, but we’d be here all day. So I’ll just say that eventually, he got to be too much for me to handle. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to participate in my upcoming beauty pageant, because the rehearsals for it would take away from my time with him, and that I was not allowed to be on prom court (it was my senior year by this time, and I got voted to be on court) because it involved me having to slow dance with another guy which apparently “wasn’t something that I should be a part of.” That was the last straw. The same night that he told me that, he also told me he loved me as he was leaving my house. I stood in the doorway, and I had no idea what to say, so I didn’t say 

anything. I shut the door without a word, and he went home. I broke up with him later that night.

In the following weeks, he would text me every day, alternating between being extremely nice and extremely rude to me. In one text he would tell me that I was beautiful and strong, then in the next he would call me a bitch and a slut. Eventually, I had to change my number because of him, and luckily he hasn’t gotten ahold of my new one yet. I thought that maybe he was over me by now, but last night I found out that he’s obviously not- my old tumbling coach, who was at one time good friends with Austin and his family, had run into him, and he told her that he and I were still together, and getting married as soon as I graduated. What kind of insane person does something like that?!

Anyway, though, just thought I’d share my crazy, interesting story with you guys. Happy Friday!

Female Roles in "Pride and Prejudice"

I think that "Pride and Prejudice" (the movie) reveals a lot about the roles and expectations that women are expected to hold, even in today's society. In the clip I have attached, Lady Katherine, who is a very rich and a high status woman, questions the main character, Elizabeth Bennett, about her "skills." Lady Catherine asks Lizzie if she can draw, if she plays the piano, and about more typical feminist roles. Lizzie replies with a "no" to all of the questions that Lady Katherine asks her, which makes Lady Katherine look down on her even more. I would say that Lizzie is already considered to be in the middle to upper working class, so she already had strikes against her in Lady Katherine's eyes. "Pride and Prejudice" was set in a time period where these roles were much more prevalent for women in society, and they were regarded as important skills that women should master; while today's society typically does not place so much emphasis on women learning skills like playing the piano and painting, it still shows how women are expected to do certain things. If women do not do these socially valued things, they are typically seen as "weird" or "unaccomplished." Lizzie is an untypical woman of her time, which I think is very cool. She doesn't dress or look quite like women of her time period and she has a mind of her own. She is very opinionated and does not let anyone step all over her. I think an important message in "Pride and Prejudice" is that obstacles can be conquered, and anything is possible. Women should embrace this message and realize that they can break through oppression. They should realize that they have a voice, and if they use it, anything can happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yElIQDAEtOg

White Privilege & The Miss America Pageant

Although I didn't watch the Miss America Pageant this year, I was struck by the amount of negative attention the pageant received. The fact that this year's winner from New York is of Indian descent has caused quite the backlash and unfortunately has emphasized just how prevalent racism is within American society today. I read a number of articles regarding the controversy, including this one (http://www.kansascity.com/2013/09/16/4485878/racists-tarnish-the-miss-america.html), and was struck by how unfair and ignorant people can be. Instead of focusing on this woman's wonderful accomplishments and aspirations (she has a degree in brain behavior and cognitive science and plans on attending medical school as her father did), many only focused on the color of her skin. People tweeted many comments stating that this "is America" and insinuating that the winner,  because she is an Indian-American, does not embody America's values or even represent an American citizen. This reminded me of Peggy McIntosh's article, White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, that we previously read; McIntosh included a list of privileges white people experience, and I think winning the Miss America Pageant without one's race being addressed or objected to should be added. Sadly, this woman has a chance to spread female empowerment as the winner of this pageant and instead her victory has only proven just how little progress America has actually made in regards to racism.

Manly or Girly?

         Earlier this week when we were talking about how we were raised and what life would be like if we were boys, it really made me think about the relationships in my family. I think the most interesting thing to look at is my sister and I. Now to get some background I am the second oldest of five and it goes boy, girl, girl, boy, boy. So in total three boys and two girls and a mom and dad.  Now when talking about my family, I think that I have a great relationship with my parents and all my siblings and I get along really well. Which is what makes it so interesting looking at my how my parents treat my sister and I. My sister and I, being raised in a house of mostly boys meant that we were tomboys. We played sports, fought, and in general got down n' dirty with the rest of them. However as I got older and took up theater rather then soccer, I found expressing myself through clothes was really interesting and so I opened up my wardrobe(which was probably a huge mistake with all the clothes I have now), However, this meant that my sister became the manlier one between the two of us. This was funny for two reasons because in my group of friends  they can in no way see me as the "girly" one and because I never stopped enjoying the things i used to do.

     The problem is I think that this type of thinking leads to problems in every girls self-esteem. I do not think there is any girl that wants to be told that she is manly to wear a dress or that another girl wants to be told that she is too girly to do anything difficult. I think that the issue is that society perpetuates this type of imagery that we are supposed to fit into these nice little boxes that society makes up for us and we don't! We are people that are just making a way for ourselves as best we know how.  So although my sister may play more sports and I may wear more dresses that does not mean we should be treated as people who only have one interest in life.

Gender Equality in Iran

While browsing around on BuzzFeed I came across this article- "Iranian Men Dress In Drag For Gender Equality."  The movement spawned from an incident where a convicted criminal was paraded through Marivan, forced to wear a woman's dress with the intent to cause him humiliation and grief. This caused a backlash among Iranian citizens who felt that women's clothing should not be a sign of weakness or humility. Here's the article:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/iranian-men-dress-in-drag-for-gender-equality

I thought this was really cool because usually countries in the Middle East have a bad reputation for the treatment of women and gender equality in general.  The men and women involved in this movement are making a big statement, and the way they're going about doing it is conspicuous and unique. Also, since gender equality isn't the norm in Iran, I think these men and women are really brave for going out on a limb to fight for equality.

Feminism is taking over the internet...

Hey y'all! So I was super bored and looking for something interesting to post on the blog this week, when I stumbled upon this really awesome website! If you guys are ever in need of an article about feminism, this site has been archiving interesting articles about feminism in all different kinds of forms since 2000. How many of you have heard of ecofeminism? How many of you want to take a feminist vacation with tours centralized around feminist places of interest? It's pretty awesome, and it goes beyond feminism by including a lot of other liberal-minded topics including gay marriage, politics, and religion (Islamic feminists, anyone?). It opened my eyes to a lot of different forms of feminism as well as places it's found in our culture. (Especially the article on gender bias in school sports...you know how fired up I am about that...) Definitely check this link out!

http://www.feministezine.com/feminist/

Just Friday class we spoke about women’s roles within music as well as movies. How more often than none women are used as pawns to hype up the male’s role, whether its in a movie or in a music video.  Low and behold I find this kickass quote while scrolling through my Tumblr timeline, (follow me at @Trillanora) lol. Meryl Streep who seemingly within all of her movies is the one of the main characters or whom is “ strong-minded” female always seem to be told her motivation or the character traits of her character, as if she is NOT already a strong-minded female or that a person of our sex can be anything but. You can bet male actors don’t have to deal with such rubbish. Actors like Meryl Streep as well as the directors that manufacture these characters are breaking the mold in today’s film industry. The downside to these roles, are that a strong-minded male is seen as ambitious and other great characteristics. While a female of such stature is seen a “ball buster” or “bitch”. Tell me something’s not right here. 

Powerpuff Girls

So today as I was taking a study break looking at funny cat gifs, I found this article about the Powerpuff girls!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lilyhiottmillis/the-powerpuff-girls-could-have-replaced-your-gender-studies
I hope that all of you had the fortune of watching this cartoon as a kid because it was awesome! These three girl sisters fighting crime, saving their city, and enjoying their lives with their single father Professor Utonium! I always liked this show, but upon reading the article I found a greater appreciation for it, these girls are SUPERHEROS in their own right they were created that way and aren't derivations of other male superhero counterparts like BatGirl and SpiderGirl etc. There are a lot of really fun parts of this series that do well to break the 'normal' family style with the RowdyRuff Boys having two dads!

My favorite part of this is when what is supposed to be similar to the Justice League leader tells the Powerpuff girls there are certain roles men and women have to fill.

When this guy tried to teach the girls about gender roles….

tumblr.com

This happened:

And then:

bubbley-boo.tumblr.com

On September 10, 2013, I attended a women studies and service learning conference. Although all of the speakers were very wonderful, one simply stuck to me. The speaker name was Dr. Barber who is a teacher at Washington University. Dr. Barber spoke about her experience with a service learning project that dealt with incarcerated women. In the project, her students went to three locations to spend time with the children who have incarcerated mothers. Dr. Barber stated that she loved the students to go out and experience service learning because they are able to apply what they learned in the classroom to the real world. This speaker stood out to me because I did have an incarcerated father. It is great to have people their to support you because you have a figure to look up to. Although there were negatives about living without my father like not knowing how he looked or who my other parent was, it was also some positives. It made me realize how strong my mother was for having to take care of twins and another daughter. Also it made me want to go out and help children who felt like me, if they belonged or if they feel like something was missing. Although the women service and learning conference was very great in explaining what feminism and service learning was, the speaker that stood out to me was Dr. Barber. This is because I could connect to what she was discussing and it also helped me to want to go and help.

 

Feminist

 

 

This week, while visiting my service learning project at my old high school, I was amazed that the concept of feminism was really unknown. While at the school, Northwest Academy, I decided to take a survey on if the women/girls were feminist or not. Here are a few answers I received:

 

1. I am not a feminist because they hate men.

2. I am not a feminist because I believe men are the superior being. Just like the bible says, men has dominion. (and they ranted on about Adam and Eve).

3. No, I am not a feminist because I believe that women and men should have equal rights, not women being superior over men.

4. No, because I do not want to do a men's job like take out the trash.

5. No, because I do not want to live in a world dominated by women.

and lastly, 6.No, because I cannot agree to something that I do not know what it is.

 

Concept number three and six stood out to me because number three was exactly what feminism is, women having equal rights as men. Number six stood out because this answer can from ten people I interviewed. They said because it was associated with negativity, they do not want to be apart of it. My survey helped me a lot because it let me know that many women do not believe in their rights or that some of them just do not want to be equal to men.



Gendered Parenting

Something that really caught my attention this week was our discussion of gendered parenting in class. The topic was one that I had never given much thought to, but after listening to everyone sharing their experiences of it I realized just how big a problem it really is. Not only do children experience this gendered treatment from their parents, but it can come from other family members as well. I also realized, however, how fortunate I am, because I honestly cannot recall a single experience during which my parents treated me differently simply because I’m a girl.

Unlike a lot of classmates, I never had a set curfew. My parents were willing to negotiate it with me depending upon where I was going. If I was going to an event that was ending late, that wasn’t a problem- they just wanted to know what time I thought I would be home. If I was running late, I just had to call to inform them. They made it clear that they did care about where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, etc., but not in a super controlling way; just enough to let me know that my safety and well-being was very important to them. Maybe this can be attributed to the fact that my parents had three daughters and no sons, so they never could make the comparison between what it’s like to raise a boy and what it’s like to raise a girl.

When I look back on my childhood, though, it’s even clearer to me that my parents were trying to raise me to be who I really was- not simply to be a “lady.” Looking at me now, you probably wouldn’t guess that I was a complete tomboy when I was a kid. I wore typical girl’s clothing, but I definitely didn’t act like a girl. I hated playing with dolls, wearing my hair down, dressing up, and watching any of the typical shows that other little girls were watching. I wanted to play outside, collect bugs, dress up like a Power Ranger, and watch Dragon Ball Z. I loved reading and learning, and I told everyone that I wanted to grow up to be a scientist. For my “chores” I would help my dad with fixing things around the house, or go with him when he worked odd jobs fixing things people in our neighborhood. I did plenty of things with my mom too, though. I would help her bake, cook, and work outside on the yard. From what I remember, I spent a pretty equal amount of time with both of my parents. If it ever upset them that I didn’t act like a typical little girl, they never let it show.

I am extremely thankful for the relationship that I have with my parents, and the fact that they’ve always allowed and encouraged me to be myself, even when who I was wasn’t what society said I should be.

Women and Art – A Visit to the St. Louis Art Museum

On Friday, September 13, 2013, my sister and I visited the St. Louis Art Museum. Before we even walked into the museum, we saw two female statues with their breasts showing. I was aggravated before even going in! My fears soon became a reality when I saw more and more paintings and sculptures of naked women or bare-chested women. I thought to myself, “Well, this doesn’t surprise me,” which I think is sad. While walking through the museum, we saw women being portrayed in typical feminist roles, such as mothering, teaching, knitting, and drawing. I remember seeing only one painting of women that depicted them as doing something more than typical feminine roles. The women were the center of attention in the middle of a group of men and they represented different “masculine” roles, such as a soldier and a mathematician. I was surprised when I saw this picture because I wasn’t expecting it, but I was also very happy that I saw women being portrayed as something more than mothers.

More so, all of the pictures and statues I saw of women had them wearing dresses and other typical, feminine clothing items. I don’t recall seeing a single woman who wore pants or anything else seen as “masculine.” In my eyes, the museum conveyed the exact feminine ideals that are prominent in our society. Women are typically seen as dainty, emotional, mothers, socially proper, and more, which is what I picked up from looking at all the statues and pictures at the museum. There were only a few pieces that I recall that portrayed women as strong, independent, intelligent, and determined individuals. In addition, there were only a select few paintings and sculptures that represented naked men. Most of the men I saw were either fully clothed or had their genitals covered.

Being that I was angry seeing all of the naked women in the museum, I asked my sister why exactly that was. My sister, who is very artistic and took many art classes in college, told me, from an artist’s viewpoint, female nudity can be interpreted in two ways, depending on the art piece. First, the females that are represented are seen as objects instead of people. Second, the female form is seen as art itself, so nudity is not meant to be sexual but is instead meant to be personal and admiring. Listening to my sister’s reasoning on female nudity made me question and change my mind some. I felt that it is not okay to view females as objects rather than people, so I was internally angered by her first reasoning. However, I appreciated and accepted her second reasoning. I appreciate that certain artists view the female body as art and want to show it off as admirable. Women are admirable people because of all the hard work they do, and they should be given more credit. 

Raising My Rainbow

So I know the other day in class I briefly mentioned that I had recently viewed a news segment on the Today Show that was subject around the issue of gender. The segment is called raising my rainbow, it focuses on a married couple with two children. Their eldest child is by all means what society deems as male, while their youngest child though biologically a boy is not exactly society's male model.

In the segment the married couple discuss their struggles and strives with raising a family, specifically a family that lives a life outside of what society deems "normal". They explain that they raised their two children exactly the same, and suggest that based on their findings gender is not necessarily a result of environmental factors but simply genetic. They explain how they love both their children - their son that loves to throw around the football and their son that loves to dress-up Barbie for the ball. they explain that while they encourage both their sons to follow their passions, they also do not sugarcoat the realities of society. While both of parents state they could careless if their son wears one of his glittery skirts out in public, they have carefully explained to their son that not everyone in society is as hip as him and some people will not understand or accept his choices as okay. Based on this the parents say that while their little ballerina does not hide his identity, that he does at times depending on the situation and setting at hand self-edit himself.

Frankly I find that this is a really admirable way to go about raising a family. No child should ever feel that he or she has to fit society's model. I honestly believe everyone should have the opportunity to be whom they want to be - even if someone's choices aren't your cup of tea that doesn't make it acceptable to make someone feel inferior. I find it admirable that they educate their children about the harsh realities of this world while maintaining to stand by whatever decisions their children make. Gender shoudln't be determined based upon whether one biologically a boy or a girl - people should be saw for their personalities.

Now if only all parents were so understanding...

http://www.today.com/books/raising-my-rainbow-bringing-child-free-gender-parameters-8C11031365
http://raisingmyrainbow.com/

"Feminism: Important Yesterday, Today, and Forever"

I recently found this article online called, “Feminism: What it is and why it’s still important” by Shanzeh Khurram and I really enjoyed it. Like the cartoon I posted last week, I think it gives a lot of insight into what the feminist movement is about; it’s just longer of course. It also introduces a lot of issues that we have discussed recently in class, such as the pay gap between men and women and domestic violence. I thought the part about domestic violence was intriguing but depressing. The article talks about how rape is often dismissed in universities where they take place and is simply considered “misconduct” so the university can save its reputation. More so, it discusses how our society often blames the victim for the rape. It says society often criticizes the victim for wearing provocative clothing and/or being inebriated at the time, and as a result, this indicates that the victim “had it coming” or “brought it upon him or herself.” I totally disagree with this reasoning because I do not think that in any case rape is the victim’s fault. If the person says no and/or is clearly out of it, no sexual activity should happen with that person. If it does happen, I feel that the victim is not at fault for what happened (Khurram).

            I think it is a pretty good article that gives a small synopsis about the Feminist Movement and problems it faces. It’s not too long, so if you girls get the opportunity, it’s a good one to read.

Source for blog and link for article: http://www.sparksummit.com/2012/11/14/feminism-what-it-is-and-why-it’s-still-important/

This picture also went with the article. I find it humorous but also sad because things shouldn't have to be this way. 

Source for picture: http://www.sparksummit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Feminismradicalnotion-1.jpeg

The less you weigh, the less you pay?

            A couple of weeks ago, i saw a story on the news about women in Osaka Japan. women in Osaka

 have begun to rent into homes where the rent is based on how much the women weigh. the more you gain,

the more the rent goes up and the more you lose, the more your rent goes down in price. the landlords, at

first, thought that overweight women would be renting these houses to help motivate their weight loss goals.

but in fact, women with already great bodies have come to maintain their weight. i have posted a link to an

article about it down below. all the article is is information about the living arrangements, but on the news

they were talking about how arrangements like this could cause eating disorders for women who so desperately

either want to lose weight or just keep some extra cash in their pocket due to wanting cheap rent.  Personally,

i think that stuff like that could really happen to women who take things as far as to starve themselves just to

 save a couple of bucks, but i also think it is helpful to women who have trouble keeping the motivation to

 lose weight. the main problem here is that this living arrangement says something about women like "Women

 in this community have to be skinny in order to fit in" just like here in America where we have magazines and

 other sources of media depicting skinny, makeup bathed women teaching other women how they "should"

look like, dress like, and even act like. what do you guys think?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2381269/Lose-weight-pay-rent-Japan-Osaka-female-apartment-Lady-Share-House-B-D-charges-rent-losing-weight.html

Am I a Man?

This past week in class we spoke on different “negatives” that would come along with female presidents. A popular misconception is that a woman president would be ridden with nothing but emotion and be unable to make appropriate decisions for the nation. This topic of feelings has a large bay window into my life. Within the last couple of weeks my beau and I have been having some issues, lol. (my life, smh) And it always comes down to how my feelings are set up. I tend be distant, emotionless, nonchalant, amongst other things. With that being said he continuously tells me that I act like a “guy?” Looking at those descriptions I tend to get the word “asshole”, not guy. Though this might not deal specifically with Feminism, it does however deal with what society deems as gender roles and though a large number of guys you come in contact with tend to have these characteristics it’s not right to say that these characteristics are present in every male you meet. 

Feminist Crap

A few days ago, I was perusing through Twitter on my phone before bed when I came across this tweet: "Liberal spread the wealth garbo and feminist crap all in one English Assignment. This is going to be a long semester. #help #icant". 

Now, this tweet is courtesy of one of my male friends from high school.  He and I have a long track record of disagreeing on just about every social and/or political topic imaginable, so I was not exactly surprised to see this post.  I have long since accepted the fact that the two of us see many things very differently.  However, it was the "feminist crap" part that really got under my skin.

As I said before, I was laying in bed when I read this disturbing piece of Twitter literature. And this was my thought process: "No. Don't do this. Why did you have to post this? I'm tired.  I don't have time to argue." But then I saw the most off-putting part of it all.  Among others, one of my female friends had favorited it.  I saw this as an even more blatant dig to feminism.  And I realized that every time someone refers to the word "feminist" in a negative way, it perpetuates ignorance and erases progress in the feminist movement. 

So, although I wasn't in the mood to argue, I texted the gentleman author of this tweet to set the record straight.  He told me what he doesn't like about feminism is "the over-analyzing of every single stupid sentence or gesture to make men into evil condescending dicks" and the "telling young girls what they should want for their life".  It was such a typical misinterpretation of feminism! I in turn responded to him with the sentiment that feminism is all about the freedom to choose what kind of life one wants, regardless of sex or gender. (He had no response for this, by the way.)

What I realized throughout the course of this small feminist battle is that it is important to inform even when it's inconvenient, because every single time someone uses "feminist" or "feminism" in an ill-informed or negative context it is a dig at the entire movement that stagnates progress and perpetuates sexism.  When people don't understand the core values of feminism, they tend to misuse it in ignorant or even malicious ways.  Every discussion is important, whether you're standing at a podium or responding to a tweet.

Frankenstein

Hey all! Just thought I'd throw in a little extra info about our good friend Mary Wollstonecraft. A fun fact about her is that her daughter, Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, is one of the most famous authors of all time-and you probably don't even recognize her name. (Get ready for some soap-opera worthy background knowledge...)
 Mary Wollstonecraft was married to the famous philosopher William Godwin, and had a daughter with him shortly before dying of complications from childbirth. The daughter was named after her now-deceased, famous feminist mother. At age 19, Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin caused quite a stir when she ran off with the married Romantic poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley. (The two liked to meet late at night at Mary Wollstonecraft's grave and exchange love letters). Two weeks after the suicide of Shelley's estranged wife, Harriet (it was a bit dramatic; she hurled herself off a bridge), Mary Godwin officially became Mary Shelley. Following the scandal, the Shelley's were ostracized by English society, and sought comfort at a friend's home in Geneva for the summer. Mary Shelley remembered it as quite a rainy season, with much time spent confined inside thinking, debating, and storytelling. On one stormy night, the men challenged each other to write the scariest story they could think up. Mary, who was the only woman that participated in the competition, wrote Frankenstein; a short story about a disturbed scientist who decides to play God, and creates a monster. (Spoiler alert: she won). Encouraged by her husband to write a full novel, Mary eventually finished the book, and published it anonymously to great success. However, it's true authorship was debated for years, as some believed that Percy had been the original writer of the tale. Mary Shelley later came forward to say that the only thing Percy had written of Frankenstein was the Preface.

Boom. Badass.

(Sorry for the long history rant, the Shelleys were a bit of an obsession of mine in high school, I could go on for days).

This is what a feminist looks like.

I saw this photo as I was browsing the internet the other day and I think this really captured what the meaning of feminism really is. It is not about what we do or what we dress like, it is about who we are as people. People just like men, people that deserve respect and consideration. We should not have to defend our decisions to other people. If we want to work on a construction site then we should be able to, if we want to play football then we should be able to, if we want to run for president then it should be no big fucking deal. The worst part about sexism is that it is so subtle that people do not even realize it is happening, it is so ingrained in us that fighting against it is really difficult. I find it difficult for me to fight against that selfish desire for men to pay for things or to make things easier on my life; I know that this is a selfish desire and fighting against it. Being a feminist is not about just being a feminist when i am being treated unfairly, but also when men are being treated unfairly. I want equality and that is what i am fighting for.

Recently, I read a play called Trifles. Now, we all know that trifles are small deserts that are just simply for pleasure, however, in this play trifles played a big part. The play Trifles was about a murder case of Mr. Wright. Of course, the play was built around men, the men were the main characters in the play. The irony of the play was that the detectives wives, Mrs. Peters and Mrs. Hale, were the ones who solved the crime. While Mrs. Peters and Mrs. Hale were watching their husbands investigate, they noticed the little "trifles" that pointed towards Mrs. Wright killing her husband. Since, they loved Mrs. Wright, they hid all of the evidence so Mrs. Wright would not have gotten convicted. Some of the evidence included a dirty kitchen, her sewing kit dismantled, and her quilt she was sewing was not knitted right. In the play, Mrs. Wright was very clever, she hid all of the evidence in a place where men would not even care to look like her kitchen and sewing kit. This story stood out to me because in the beginning it made women look like simple "trifles". They were submissive to their husbands and were known to just do their wifely duties. However, because these women were so precise at their "womanly duties", they were able to solve the crime. The fact that Mrs. Peters and Mrs. Hale hid the evidence not only made them disobedient to the law, but it to me, made them feel superior over the men. Simply because  they knew something that the men didn't.

Modern Day Mary Poppins'

I stumbled upon this article that gives a very interesting insight into the world of nannying. Below I have posted a link of an article posted today on MSN.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/09/11/20143192-modern-day-mary-poppins-college-graduates-embrace-nannying-as-career?lite&ocid=msnhp&pos=1

This article discusses the latest job trend on the market for graduating women - nannying. It is becoming a requirement rather than a request for families that their nanny has a college degree. Young women trained to be doctors, engineers, business executives, and other various jobs are trading in their fancy degrees for fancy nannying position. Women entering in this field with college degrees are making an average of $16, witch many even racking in salaries as large as 6 figures. From these salary figures it might not be that surprising that recent graduates are turning to nannying; however a lot of women cited in this article state they ultimately turned to nannying after failing to find other job opportunities in their desire fields.

From this it seems that even while more women are currently attending college in the United States than men, that after graduating women are still turning to the traditional "homemaker" positions. I am left to wonder what effects this trend will have on society?

In all honestly I am a nanny - and even more importantly I love it. I have been a nanny for the past 5 summers, working anywhere from 30-60 hours for a given family. It is a great feeling to be welcomed into a family as someone they trust enough to care for their children when they are unable to. A lot of the times a nanny job results in figuratively being adopted into the family. In my personal case I have 3 past families that I have worked for that still to this day I know I could call at a moments notice and they would be there for me and I be there for them. I'm a proud nanny. What does this mean though?

Does this mean that I am only meant to be a "homemaker" or that society can dismiss me in the work force? No. For these reasons I think that it is appalling that the women in these articles felt they could only find a job in the nanny field. Women graduates should have the same opportunities that males have.

At the same time though nannying might be the smartest job move a recent graduate could make. In the 3 long-term nanny positions I have held, I held substantial pay increased as opposed to my friends and have since been offered several fantastic job opportunities in my desired work field (PR and Advertising). So do I think nannying is bad? Absolutely not, I think its a great career choice. Do I think women be forced to nanny is bad? Absolutely, the job market should be a level playing field.

"Stop Saying 'I Have a Boyfriend' to Deflect Unwanted Attention"

http://www.xojane.com/relationships/stop-saying-i-have-a-boyfriend

Being hit on- if you're not looking to meet someone, or sometimes even if you are- can be very, very uncomfortable. This article talks about the problem with using the "I have a boyfriend" line as a way to ward off the pick-ups and come-ons. Not only does this tactic involve appealing to male privilege in that it sends the message to the man attempting the pick-up that the only legitimate feelings/desires here worthy of respect are those of her male partner, but it also removes the agency from the woman, and assumes, as the author points out, "that single girls are 'fair game' for harassment".

This is what caught my eye, getting me to read the article in the first place:

"Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest."

 I have been seeing someone for a few years now, and unfortunately, without realizing the implications, I tend to use the "I have a boyfriend" line to deflect most unwanted attention directed my way. I can't believe that I have been doing this, thinking I'm being all strong and tough by simply rejecting the advance. This just goes to show how deeply rooted in language and cultural norms these biases are; that without even being cognizant of it, I have aided in perpetuating the notion that women's feelings or wants are less valid or deserving of respect than those of men, and that women can't just speak up and say what they (I) really mean: "I'm simply not interested in being hit on". (Or maybe they're not biases as subconscious as I thought, and I am just late to the empowerment/"speak up for yourself" game haha)
The author of this article offers up a possible scenario of how a conversation with a "picker upper" could go, should you choose to just say "I'm not interested".

”No, I said I’m not interested.”

“Oh, so you have a boyfriend?”

“I said, I’m not interested.”

 “So you’re a lesbian, then?”

 “Actually, I’m not interested.”

 “You seem crazy.”

 “Nope, just not interested.”

I love her dry, honest response and I actually think that I've heard this (or some version of it) played out in real life before. I have actually been asked if I were a lesbian, just for the simple fact that I (in a better display of deflection than the boyfriend line) ignored someone or made some snide remark. Cause yeah, you know the second a woman doesn't desire you, she MUST be a lesbian, because obviously there's no way she could possibly desire men if she doesn't desire you.

Give the article a read and I'm curious to hear everyone's thoughts or experiences with this!

Also, if there's any lesbians in the class, I'd be interested to hear their perspective on this, since the "I have a boyfriend" line doesn't really work here (and I can now say: nor should it anywhere). Let the girl speak for herself, damnit!

Cartoon as a good representation of typical views on feminism in society

http://feminist.org/intern/2008Spring/images/CartoonFeminism.jpg

       I decided to post this cartoon for this week's blog because it includes many of the concepts we have talked about in class. More so, it shows a common attitude that many people have about feminism; today, many people, like the man in the cartoon, believe that feminism is not needed in today's society, and they are typically unaffected by the fact that women are still unequal to men in many ways. I really like this cartoon because I think it is a good representation of the important values of feminism. More so, I think it is a good example of how women can defend themselves as feminists.
      I would be very interested in talking to the people who, like the man in the cartoon, think that "women are equal in every way that matters." I would like to know what they are referring to when they say something like this.. So equal pay and more representation in government for women does not matter? I think it does! As do many other men and women in society. I would be eager to know what their reasoning is for thinking such things.

Gyno Star!

So I found this gem on Facebook a few days ago and thought it was hilarious. http://www.gynostar.com/

This is a real online comic strip in which the super heroine is a feminist.  It's pretty funny as the situations have her fighting various discriminatory behavior as well as chauvinistic ideas.  Some of my favorites include when she gets sucked into a beer commercial, fights villains such as Vlad Deferens (Vas Deferens being the biological term for the tubes that distribute semen out of the penis), the homemaker, and other quirky villains.  It's extremely liberal and is very biased, but it's a fun thing to browse and it brings up some valid points. 

One of the most recent story lines is about Gyno Star going to a hero convention where most of the fans are males.  They doubt it's the real Gyno Star due to her physical appearance not being perfect and lack of knowledge of the most obscure details of her adventures.  This resonated with me really well because when girls make comments about shows, comics, or games usually seen as 'male' entertainment they get bombarded with questions about the storyline, characters, and if they really like it or if they're just trying to be 'nerdy' or 'geeky' to seek attention.  The doubt is even more intensified if the girl is naturally attractive, because no attractive girl can enjoy these activities!  The same goes for girls who watch sports or have a favorite sports team, the first questions they get asked are always "So is that who your boyfriend or dad likes?" "Do you just really like the colors?" "You only like it because 'insert attractive player' is on that team". While I have met my fair share of women who are bandwagoners and attention seeking I don't understand why it's so much less confrontational when men do it.  They get a "how long have you been a fan" questions instead of "you're an attention seeking woman" insinuations.